| |
Confessions of a failed
jihadi
By Syed Saleem Shahzad
KARACHI - He was always considered
extraordinary. He was an excellent pupil, a good
cricketer, a natural student leader, and a popular
teacher in the medical career that he chose to pursue.
Then he decided
on a radical change in direction. He would become
a jihadi, undergo a six-month training program, and then die
as a martyr in the Kashmir Valley.
On
the journey toward the ultimate sacrifice of his life,
though, his views underwent another radical change, and
what had appeared as reality became an illusion as the
bitter realization hit home of how cheap life is in the
military games that Pakistan and India play.
By
the time this revelation occurred, our talented
character had already risen to the position of a top
Pakistani jihadi commander. Now he spends most of his
time sitting at home in front of a computer screen,
working as a medical researcher for a Canadian company.
"You know, the military establishment is
flourishing on our revenues. It has consumed our
resources, and now it aims to consume the whole of our
society in the name of jihad. My problem is, we spend so
much of our national budgetary resources on our army,
yet it sends young civilian lads to fight in the
occupied valley [of Kashmir]. Why don't they wage this
'jihad' themselves, for which they get fat salaries and
dozens of other benefits which a civilian cannot even
dream of?"
These words were spoken softly by a
man with a long beard in the former Karachi offices of
the banned Lashkar-e-Toiba, one of the most active
militant groups in Kashmir. The blunt sentiments caught
the few other people in the room by surprise, causing
the man with the long beard to laugh, and comment that
perhaps such words should not echo "in these four
walls". The encounter ended with an exchange of business
cards. Subsequently, after several telephone calls, the
bearded one agreed to meet Asia Times Online in a local
restaurant.
Dr Ahmed (not his real name) turned
out to be a famous name in the student politics of the
city in the late 1980s.
"I am a medical
researcher and I graduated from the prestigious Dow
Medical College [DMC] in Karachi. [President] Zulfiqar
Ali Bhutto made the college his main political field as
the National Students' Federation [NSF] was the main
force behind his socialist agenda, and his phrase 'I
always keep my eyes on the DMC's cafeteria to know the
real pulse of national politics' has become part of
local folklore.
"Now, as our army does not want
thinking minds in the country, it has had that cafeteria
demolished so that no brain-storming debates on politics
are possible on campus. The DMC used to be the main
playing field of left-wing students, but by the mid-70s,
when the Islami Jamiat-i-Talaba [IJT] won the elections,
like they did everywhere, when they won in the DMC the
largest English daily of the country ran the headline
'Socialism is defeated in Moscow'. How serious and
ideological the political roots used to be in Karachi;
now everything is changed. Student unions are banned.
There is an all-out attempt to keep original thinking to
a minimum. Now, after receiving an education from the
most enlightened academy of the country, the students do
not fit into society, and they make their way to the US.
Whether they belonged to the IJT or the NSF, they get
Green Cards or US nationality and work in US hospitals.
These dictatorial regimes in fact are the real reason for
the brain drain, especially from Karachi."
Asia Times Online: How was your life
changed?
Dr Ahmed: I come from a Salafi [Wahhabi]
family so I was a practicing Muslim to some extent.
After completing my medical education I joined a college
where I taught. I came close to a few Salafi
scholars whose appeal for jihad inspired me. I prepared
a program of six months under which I would go to
Kashmir and sacrifice my life in the way of Allah.
ATol: So what happened then?
Dr Ahmed: Since I was the most qualified
person among my group of jihadis, I was soon elevated to
the position of provincial commander of Sindh province,
where my work was to recruit new people for jihad. I was
also taken to the base camp in Pakistani Kashmir for
briefings and exposure to jihadi activities. I am still
a committed person in terms of the Islamic cause, but
that exposure was enough to bring me back from illusions
to reality.
ATol: Could you please
elaborate.
Dr Ahmed: You are a journalist and
roam all around among jihadis and meet people from
top to bottom. Have you ever noticed that though Karachi
has the largest presence among jihadis, most of
them actually come from the rural areas of Punjab? The
recruitment of Karachiites is strictly discouraged in
jihadi outfits. You know why? Because an urbanite will
not follow instructions blindly, and the army establishment
needs jihadis with below-average intelligence. It
was, I think, in 2002 that I was sitting in the Azad
Kashmir [Free - ie, Pakistani-occupied - Kashmir]
base camp where a brigadier was giving a briefing on
strategy. The brigadier said that a 500-member suicide
squad was the need of the hour as India was set to
attack.
So I asked the brigadier to please
explain to me why India would attack Pakistan. He said
that since Pakistan supported the freedom struggle in
Kashmir, which had "wrecked the nerves of the Indians",
retaliation was expected at any time. I argued that this
is what Pakistan had been doing for more than a decade,
so what was new at this point in time, that India would
suddenly need to attack Pakistan, especially at a time
when both countries had nuclear arms? The brigadier then
replied that the United States wanted to seize
Pakistan's nuclear weapons, and when this happened,
India would attack Pakistan. I laughed and said, then
perhaps you have chosen the wrong enemy - you should shoot
the Americans first and kick their bases out from our
land. My conversation irritated the brigadier, so he
terminated the briefing and left a note that "next time
I do not want to see this gentleman".
The next
few days in the camp were even more of a strain on my
conscience. A batch of teenagers from different, remote,
rural places arrived. They were given initial training
and were set to launch into the Indian-occupied Kashmir
Valley. But the field commander of the Lashkar-e-Toiba
sent a message that an Indian army unit was on patrol in
the area. The Pakistani colonel in charge nevertheless
forced the youths to cross the border as he had to
report back to his superiors. So despite the objections
of the field commander, the youths had to go. They
immediately came under siege by the Indian patrol, and
many were shot dead.
The innocent faces of
those young lads remained in my mind for several days. I
questioned myself, should they deserve that? Did they
really sacrifice their lives for Allah? For jihad? No!
My mind and heart said that they were killed in the
military game of two armies on both sides of the divide.
I have three small kids. I questioned myself, should I
send my children to Kashmir after seeing all this? My
heart and brain both said no. I thought, why should I
recruit other people's children to be become the cannon
fodder of this military game?
I know deep in my
soul how parents nurture a human life. How a child
grows, learns to walk and run, and becomes a full-grown
man. And then, in a matter of hours, he is sent into an
obvious death trap just because a bloody officer had to
report back to his senior that on India's day of
independence an operation was launched into the Kashmir
Valley.
A few other demonstrations of this kind
forced me to go back to Karachi, but little did I know
that more mental trauma awaited me there. A
Lashkar-e-Toiba worker was arrested for alleged
transportation of al-Qaeda members. Later, the charges
proved to be wrong. But before that, from his cell phone
address book, my name was recovered. More than 600
members of the law enforcement agencies in the presence
of US FBI [Federal Bureau of Investigation] agents
raided my residence. I did not know where I was being
dragged. I have pride in having received an education
from a most prestigious academy, with the distinction of
working as a teacher. Now I was subjected to kicks and
slaps from ISI [Inter-Services Intelligence] agents in
front of my wife, father and children. This completely
shattered my pride and punctured my ego and self
respect.
I was detained in an unknown
place without trial. After a few days an officer came to
me and without a single word of apology or excuse
informed me that the whole episode was the result of
a misunderstanding. I was blindfolded again and left
in the middle of a deserted place, without a single
penny in my pocket. I traveled several miles on foot to
reach my home. I later met the chief of the
Lashkar-e-Toiba, Hafiz Mohammed Saeed, and narrated the whole story.
He advised patience. I protested and said that if you
want to serve this army, you are welcome, but I am not
ready to serve them. That was the last day I worked as a
Lashkar commander."
ATol: So you
abandoned your cause?
Dr Ahmed:
This is a matter of heart and soul, and cannot be
given up. Do not get me wrong, I am committed to my cause,
but cannot be cannon fodder for a simple "military game"
of two armies. Have you seen a horse and cart? The
horse's owner puts leather blinkers close to its eyes so that it
can only see what its master wants it to see, not look
here or there. This is how the Pakistani army treats
jihadi organizations. This is possible with animals, but
not with a walking, talking and thinking human being.
(Copyright 2003 Asia Times Online Co, Ltd. All
rights reserved. Please contact content@atimes.com for
information on our sales and syndication policies.)
|
| |
|
|
 |
|
