I have discovered that I am never, ever too drunk not to be instantly angry at
the mere mention of the neo-Keynesian halfwit morons who are, despite mountains
of evidence proving its complete failure, still clinging to that same, silly
meth-based economic theory which I originally meant to write as "same, silly
math-based economic theory" but, due to a typo, came out as "same, silly
meth-based economic theory."
"Meth-based economic theory" is, of course, an accident of the keyboard, now
that I think about it, but the horrors of methedrine addiction and overdoses
are probably much more descriptive, and would have more impact, than the
terrific editorial cartoon I had
just drawn, where I had depicted an old, ugly dog, which was obviously a
Frankenstein-monster that had been reanimated after being stitched together out
of pieces of various other dogs, and it had bare electrical wires leading to
its ugly, misshapen head, and they were making sputtering noises like "Zzzzt!
Zzzzzzzzzzzt" as sparks flew spectacularly through the air, which turned into
equations to indicate that this hideous monster was, indeed, math-driven.
The "dog" in the cartoon was cleverly labeled "The Economy", and it was
precariously and ineffectually straddling a toilet seat, trying to take a crap
in the toilet, but ended up getting it all over the bathroom and all over
itself, instead.
The point of the cartoon was not, despite opinions to the contrary, about how I
seem to be fixated on the lowest form of excrement-laden bathroom-humor that I
defend as perfectly befitting my opinion about the Federal Reserve creating so
much money that we will be destroyed by inflation in consumer prices, but about
how, when you examine the cartoon itself, it shows all the neo-Keynesian
quacks, like Ben Bernanke and Paul Krugman, standing around in the background
celebrating their grand achievement, slapping each other on the back and
shouting excitedly, "It craps all over everything!"
Of course, this fabulous pictorial allegory of mine brings up many, many
questions, such as the popular, "What in the hell are you talking about?"
The answers to the questions are all the wrong answers, of course, as in some
kind of Zen-like paradox, and just between us, there was nothing in the cartoon
about accumulating as much gold, silver and oil as you can, which was an
oversight on my part, a mistake made crystal clear by the remarkable swings in
the stock markets, up and then down, then down and up, up then down, swooshing
and sluicing around and around, which has a kind of rock-n-roll beat that
belies its true, horrific nature, which is that these kinds of oscillations are
ominous, and they remind me of how systems of flows, particularly ones being
supplied with more and more energy like the Obama administration is adding more
and more money to the economic system, often go chaotic and collapse in
catastrophe soon after entering such periods of wild instability.
I notice such things because I happen to be an expert on instability, as I'm a
guy whose Whole Freaking Life (WFL) is, in retrospect, one chaos after another,
like being forced to give up my whole life and lifestyle, to go to work, to
earn money, to support myself and my stupid family, who are doing nothing to
help me by, you know, likewise going to work and earning some money, and then
having the wife yell at me in loud exasperation, "They can't work! They're only
children, and it is illegal to make them work, you heartless moron!"
And when I mention it to my own mother to, you know, get a second opinion, she
sits there shaking her head in disbelief and saying, "I can't believe I raised
such a monster!" I am trying to explain, "But look at the gain if it had paid
off!" but to no avail.
And when you politely ask your wife why doesn't she get her fat butt into a
nice job and maybe pull a little of the financial load around here, she rudely
answers, "And who would take care of the children, you moron?" and then she
looks at me, like I can think of somebody.
But I already thought of putting our money into gold, silver and oil to
capitalize on the idiocy of government monstrously deficit spending and the
insanity of the Federal Reserve creating the mountains of money to do so.
So I tell her, "I have saved us, and I will make us rich with my timely action
to buy gold, silver and oil, and that should be enough to ask of me, and you
should grovel at my feet instead of demanding I give you the remote control for
the TV!" which, I quickly found out, was, in her opinion, not.
But I do, and either way, buying gold, silver and oil is so obvious, and are so
fortuitously still ludicrously under-priced, that she'll soon change her tune,
and she, too, will exclaim, "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2010, The Daily Reckoning.)
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