John Nadler at Kitco.com had a recent column with the terrific title "Who You
Gonna Call? Mythbusters!" When I read that, I began to sing the song to myself!
"Something strange, in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? Mythbusters!
Something weird, and it don't look good. Who ya gonna call? Mythbusters!"
Wonderful!
Of course, I was impressed with the cleverness of Mr Nadler, as it is perfect
that he would use a line from the Ghostbusters theme song to introduce a
commentary with a gold theme and about the whole stinking economic situation,
and I wish I had thought of it, especially since I now can't get the theme song
out of my head. "Who ya gonna call?" Hahaha!
My happy mood was briefly spoiled by a moment of paranoia
when I thought that he was referring to me and how I am a big fraud just
because I don't know what I am talking about, and I stopped singing long enough
to sarcastically think of a rebuttal, probably in the, "Where the hell have you
been, Nadler? Everybody already knows that I am an idiot! Hahaha! The joke's on
you!" vein.
Thankfully, he was not referring to that at all, but instead his article is
about one of the "myths", which is that "gold is in a bull market", as he cites
as evidence "an online opinion poll conducted by Commodity Online, a majority
of the respondents have hinted at a possible fall in gold prices in the near
future, and better earning opportunities will come knocking on the door."
And note that this was no absurdly small sample size, carefully crafted to
confirm a preconceived notion, like that infamous time when I deduced, from a
sample size consisting of a single incident, that all American supermarket
managers were idiots after that one time when I was particularly incensed at
inflation in prices and demanded to see the manager at the grocery store.
With a flourish, I pointed to my register receipt and commandingly said
"$147.53!", whereupon I turned and pointed dramatically to the pitiful few bags
of groceries in the shopping cart before continuing, in a voice both loud and
irritating, "You're charging me $147.53 for that little pile of food, you
little moron? This is an outrage! You and all your filthy retailing ilk are
raising, raising, raising prices until we scream in outrage, and which shows,
once again, how you had better have gold and silver to offset the inflation in
prices that is killing us all - killing us, I tells ya! - as a result of the
government's gargantuan deficit-spending and the Federal Reserve accommodating
that insane amount of borrowing-and-spending by, unbelievably, creating the
insane amounts of money with which people, mostly the Federal Reserve, can buy
their stupid bonds!"
Then I asked him, point blank, "Are you buying gold, silver and oil? Are you?
Huh? Are you, punk?"
Well, he just stood there with his eyes bugging out, looking at me, speechless,
which I took to be a "no", which is why I extrapolated, as I said, from this
one sample that all managers were idiots, and why I said, "Then you're a
moron!"
I later realized I was wrong in having such a small statistical sample, and I
was wrong in calling him a moron, because the prices are not his fault, and
thus it is wrong of me to blame him, and the only reason that I blame him is
because the Federal Reserve won't talk to me and wife and kids are whining,
"Blame somebody else for awhile, because we are sick of it!"
No, this was a huge sample, and was "A sample size of 21,600 respondents
selected from across the globe", and it came up with the surprising fact that
"93%, or 20,100, of the total sample size opined that there would be a fall in
gold prices due to a recent upbeat mood in the global equity markets." Wow!
93%!
Now many of you may look at this and say, "Hahaha! The idiot Mogambo is wrong
about the necessity of buying gold, and probably everything else, too, and this
proves he is an idiot just like we have all been saying all these years!"
To these 20,100 people I reply that their forecast is, seemingly paradoxically
to them, actually comforting news to me in my extreme, yet otherwise normal
(considering the circumstances) opinion that We're Freaking Doomed (WFD), and
that gold will soar as the dollar, and all paper currencies, fall in purchasing
power, thanks to such massive over-creation of money, in that it is an
inescapable Cold, Hard Fact (CHF) that the majority of investors investing in a
market must lose money so that a minority of investors can make a profit, and
they will lose either nominal money (because their shares went down in price),
or by inflation (in that their shares may have gone up by double, but the
general prices of everything went up by triple), or both. Probably both.
And so I stand up Proud And Loud (PAL) to say, with a wry smile of Mogambo
Arrogant Self-Assurance (MASA), that if you are not buying gold, silver and oil
in response to such monetary and fiscal insanity, then I not only laugh at you,
but Laugh In Scorn (LIS) at your screwing up something so easy, so easy that
one is compelled to squeal girlishly in delight, "Whee!"
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2010, The Daily Reckoning.)
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