I was having breakfast with the family, and to keep from having to listen to
their boring stories about their boring lives while I ate, I told them that I
keep having a nightmare where a creature, not unlike in the movie Alien, is
growing inside me, eating my guts out, and will soon burst out of my chest and
proceed, I assume, to finishing eating what is left of me.
Naturally, everybody is immediately convinced that I am haunted by these bad
dreams because I have so much guilt from being such a hateful, worthless
failure as a father and human being, and that my best option is to buy a lot of
life insurance and then die in such a way as to trigger the double indemnity
clause, leaving a lot of money for my family with which to seek at least one
moment of happiness in their sad, miserable lives.
Well, I told my daughter that I certainly did not need any help with
financial planning, thank you very much, but I think that my problem is that I
am terrified by the horrors of a corrupt, brain-dead Congress deficit-spending
us into bankruptcy and a corrupt, brain-dead Federal Reserve creating so
Incredibly Much Money (IMM) that an inflationary collapse is inevitable, and we
will be reduced to eke out a subsistence living by eating weeds and bugs.
Well, in the middle of their rude hooting and making snide remarks about the
adequacy of my mental processes and other of my various, although associated,
personal faults and shortcomings, I heard, muffled yet distinct, the Federal
Reserve Alarm (FRA) ringing in the Mogambo Big Beautiful Bunker (MBBB)!
Something is up!
Abruptly springing to my feet, I sprinted outside to the bunker door, hurriedly
threw it open and ran to the FRA to see what was (pant, pant) happening. My
breath coming in ragged gasps, I was horrified to see that they had increased
Fed Credit by a staggering $20.5 billion last week! Yikes!
And then, to add insult to injury, the Fed bought up $21.5 billion in US
government securities last week, bailing out their slimy buddies, like banks
and miscellaneous mortgage holders, and/or monetizing the insane increases in
the national debt that Congress is running up, which, at last count, jumped by
a hefty $42 billion last week, too!
Feeling suddenly dizzy and with a sense of pervasive doom, I feel something
moving eerily around inside me, perhaps snacking on my liver, and I get the
thought that I have the choice between being killed now, eaten alive by some
alien creature from outer space, or die soon, eaten alive by zooming prices for
consumer goods that will result from all of this unbelievable creation of
money.
Perhaps it is lack of sleep causing my distress and my recurrent nightmares, or
perhaps it is The Economist magazine’s “commodity-price index” that brings on
such gruesome “We’re freaking doomed!” thoughts, as their Dollar Index shows
the prices of “All items” up a blistering 32.2% over the last year,
“Industrials (all)” up a whopping 82%, “Non-food agriculturals” up a staggering
90.1%, metals up a hefty 78.3%, which does not even get into how oil is up
76.8% from last year! Yow! Yow!
Or perhaps it was John Williams at shadowstats.com figuring that overall
inflation in prices is running at a terrifying 9.5% that makes my hands tremble
so, but whatever it is that is eating me (pun intended), at least I know that
it is gold, silver and oil that will save me financially, while this pain
inside me is probably just bottled up aggravation that will go away when the
kids are old enough for me to legally kick them out.
And that, my friend, is when my gold, silver and oil will really, really come
in handy! Whee!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2010, The Daily Reckoning.)
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