Pride in acting like a pawnshop
By The Mogambo Guru
I see that the California Association of Realtors reports that the market price
of the average house in California, having lost almost US$250,000 from the peak
of $600,000 in 2007, is now down to what it cost in 2003, meaning that, on
average, everybody in California who bought a house in the last five years now
owes more than it is worth today.
This probably explains why, "The US Federal Deposit Insurance Corp said its
'problem list' of banks increased 30% in the second quarter to the highest
total in five years. The list had 117 'problem' banks as of June 30."
And with all of that money not being made on the buying and selling of real
estate anymore, state after state is reporting
revenue shortfalls, resulting in some reduced spending and many calls for
higher taxes, which is the last thing that a struggling economy needs.
And why would governments be doing the exact wrong thing by raising taxes?
Naturally, my answer is the highly disrespectful, "Because governments are full
of incompetent idiots and scumbags who need to justify their phony-baloney
jobs, and who thus need to spend massive amounts of money to cover up the
glaring fact that elected officials up and down the road are worthless,
socialist morons who have spent us into Inflationary Hell, and if we had any
sense at all we would rise up as a nation, overthrow the government, and
install The Mogambo as emperor so that he could kick some nasty butts!"
Well, this is apparently not what John Stepek at MoneyWeek.com had in mind, but
says mostly the same thing when he writes, "The late great Sir John Templeton
warned that the four most expensive words in the English language are 'it's
different this time'." He goes on to say that the second-most expensive four
words in the English language are "something must be done!"
And, thus, governments everywhere are busily "doing something".
And regardless of what they are doing, the people themselves are having to "do
something", too. And for an insight as to what they are doing, in the Wall
Street Journal's column "Letter from the City", which promises "News and
Insights From London's Financial Center", we learn from someone named Andrea
Hotter that Londoners are running to pawnshops to raise money, and increasingly
they are pawning gold.
I know what you are thinking, as I thought the same thing: You are thinking,
"Big yawn! If this is the 'news', then I say let's just punch-in at the old
time clock and get the day started by getting an early start on lunch! Maybe a
long lunch! With tacos and tequila! Yum!"
Well, nobody wanted to go, and most of them were complaining that they hadn't
even had breakfast yet, for crying out loud, which has absolutely nothing to do
with lunch, as I pointed out by politely informing them, "Hey! Morons! That has
nothing to do with lunch! They're completely separate things, you stupid
Earthlings!"
Then, instead of saying "Hey, you're right, Mister Mogambo Sir (MMS)! Thank you
for that highly enlightening piece of important information!", they all just
turned around and went to their stupid desks to start doing their stupid jobs!
So I went to my office, too, but I purposely did not do my job for the whole
morning in revenge for getting snubbed about that lunch thing.
I was glad I did, too, because after awhile I got bored with sitting at my
desk, pretending to work by downloading pornography off the Internet and
playing games of Free Cell, and then I saw the Wall Street Journal sitting on
the chair where I had laid it. That is when I knew I had the opportunity and
motivation to read the rest of the article, which said that business at the
pawnshops ("The UK's alternative credit industry") is booming, according to Ms
Hotter, who is an unknown, mystery woman whose name gets me hot just by looking
at her name and wondering what kind of luscious, dirty-minded little vixen
would choose, I assume, such a suggestive nom de plume.
But a quick Google search for "uncensored photographs of Andrea Hotter prancing
around dressed like a cheap slut" turned up, alas, zero hits.
As disappointing as that was, however, the good news is that later she reported
that "More than 97% of UK pawnbroker pledges are gold and diamonds"! Again with
the gold!
And since you asked, as many do, about diamonds, I admit that I am cool towards
diamonds as an investment, and I lamely argue that companies now make the damn
things every day that are, as far as I can see, superior to natural diamonds.
And I am cool towards them being used in rings, too, because when a woman
whacks you across the face while she's wearing one of the damned things, it
hurts like hell! Blood and everything!
But the lesson is not about how women react violently to salacious, smelly old
men making obscene suggestions while they are trying to do a little shopping at
the mall, but about how you should be, like pawnbrokers over there and
pawnshops of over here, buying gold and silver.
And while I have never, to my knowledge, recommended that people "act like
pawnshops", I will note that they are accumulating gold, and so the advice
seems like good advice, as opposed to my Usual Mogambo Crappy Advice (UMCA)!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2008, The Daily Reckoning.)
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