Economic miseries by the
second By The Mogambo Guru
A lot of things make me crazy, like
watching a Fed chairman on TV as he testifies
before the Senate Banking Committee, and I feel
that the straps holding me down in the chair are
working loose, meaning that I will be free, free,
free to get right up to the TV screen, my nose
almost touching it, to make sure that the damned
Fed chairman sees me and knows that I am out here
watching his every damned move, and I am so close
to the screen that I know he can read my lips as I
scream at him, as loud as I can, at every lie he
tells, and I am loving every high-decibel moment
of it.
Well, that happy circumstance did
not occur because one of the kids saw me working
the buckles loose and yelled out, "Mom! Mom! He's
getting loose!" whereupon they all came rushing in
with
a whoop and cinched everything up, good and tight.
Damn it!
But almost as good is when Mike
Whitney, writing at InformationClearingHouse.com,
writes, "Even veteran Fed-watchers were caught
off-guard by Chairman Bernanke's performance.
Bernanke was expected to make routine comments on
the state of the economy but, instead, delivered a
45-minute sermon detailing the afflictions of the
foundering financial system. The Senate chamber
was stone-silent throughout. The gravity of the
situation is finally beginning to sink in."
And what is the "gravity of the situation"
that is sinking in? I am glad you asked! It just
so happens that the latest product rollout from
Mogambo Money-Maker Industries (MMMI) answers this
very question in a thrilling 12-hour lecture from
me, The Mogambo, about all the zillions of
terrible things that will happen as a result of
the economic stupidity of allowing such disastrous
expansions of the money supply.
And the
video is a real bargain, too, as the sheer
enormity of the bad things that will happen is so
great that even a 12-hour lecture is insufficient
to describe what will happen, and I must talk so
fast that it is a hell of a bargain when measured
in Miseries Per Second (MPS) of run-time. So you
can see that the video is a real steal at
US$499.99! Order one today! Or two, as they make
great gifts!
And in case anyone is stupid
enough to order one, I will either just cash the
check and forget about delivering anything (which
gives me a profit margin like you would not
believe!), or use the money to buy a cheap
videotape recorder, make the video of me running
my loud mouth for awhile, and hire a lot of pretty
dancers to prance around in the background in that
special "Girls Gone Wild!" way that guarantees
high sales, especially from that coveted "young
adult male with disposable income" market segment.
Well, Mr Whitney is not remotely
interested in my terrific videotape offer,
investing in production of the videotape, or even
paying for a tasty pizza to be delivered while we
discuss it, which I was perfectly willing to share
with him, probably because he recognizes the
obvious scam, and is pretty fed up with the whole
thing. This explains why he cut things short and
suddenly flipped to the last page of his speech
where he says, "So, let's summarize. The banks are
battered by their massive subprime liabilities.
Housing is in the tank. Manufacturing is down.
Food and energy are up. Unemployment is rising.
And consumer spending has shriveled to the size of
an acorn. All that's missing is a trumpet blast
and the arrival of the Four Horseman."
Well, if he would rather await the arrival
of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse instead of
awaiting the arrival of the postman bringing my
fabulous video, that's his business. Either way,
you get the general idea; we're freaking doomed!
And if you wonder exactly what I mean by
"doomed", I will demonstrate by telling you that
the video I am offering you is priced $499.99
today, but it will be $699.99 next year. You
figure it out.
Richard Daughty
is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant
Group, serving the financial and medical
communities, and the editor of The Mogambo Guru
economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to
heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve
it.
Republished with permission from The Daily Reckoning.
Copyright 2008, The Daily
Reckoning
Head
Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
Central, Hong Kong Thailand Bureau:
11/13 Petchkasem Road, Hua Hin, Prachuab Kirikhan, Thailand 77110
